Guinea Overview
Mayfair is a weird place to go drinking on a Saturday night. The first pub we visit, the tiny Coach and Horses in Bruton Street, starts ringing last orders at ten to seven. We only came in because the Guinea, around the corner, was closed. On being turfed out, we retrace our steps to the classic mews location of Bruton Place and find the Guinea now open, though not exactly heaving, with all of three other punters installed.
My friend suggests it is the sort of pub her dad would like. A single person might come here to do a crossword, she adds. I get the feeling she’s not overly impressed. She seems to imply that I’m a bit sad for wanting to come here in the first place. In defence I try to argue that the dedicated reviewer must go wherever the air hangs heavy with the whiff of grog, but in here it smells more of beeswax. There are only three tiny benches to sit at in the entire bar, all hard, upright and uncomfortable, as if the landlord had gone out of his way to make sure you don’t linger. Don’t know if he is the man who serves us, but he certainly boasts an authoritative pair of sideburns, real ‘hearty fellow’ whiskers. At private schools they call them buggery grips, apparently. Even the most ham-fisted suitor could get some purchase on these.
The bar seems to be merely a stopping off point before you are taken to the table you’ve booked in the “famous Guinea Grill”. Obviously, we don’t have a table booked, so stand around awkwardly. It feels a bit like a cocktail party with no host, and hardly any guests. Apparently things are much more animated on weekday lunchtimes, when to stand, chat, drink and snack is the custom. Accordingly, there is no shortage of framed awards for the food. The blackboard advertises a sausage for £1.50, which doesn’t sound too bad, assuming it’s not a chipolata. The restaurant is pricier, and popular mainly with American tourists, like much of Mayfair on a Saturday night. I assume its supposed renown among celebrities is more of an historical boast, judging from the names that are bandied about. I mean, how many decades is it since Richard Burton and Liz Taylor were a hot couple? Ah, the seventies, that era when steak was still glamorous, and fruit juice was a perfectly legitimate starter. And yet… there’s a certain timelessness to the whole operation that is beguiling, and I’d feel confident of the prime Angus beef being Mad Cow Disease-free.
Youngs run the place and hence supply the beers, which are as reliable as you would expect from this well regarded brewery. But I doubt if anyone ever comes to The Guinea to get pissed. Do what we did, and what other people in the bar seemed to be doing. Turn up, have a drink, take in the atmosphere, smell the beeswax and move on. (Updated 06/03/2007)
Additional Info: Food Recommended, Hire Available, Outside Drinking, Food, Non-Smoking Area
Nearby Venues:
- Bellamy's (formerly Caviar Kaspia), French (0.01km)
- Greig's Grill Restaurant, British (0.01km)
- Umu, Japanese (0.06km)
- 140 Park Lane Restaurant & Bar, Modern Eclectic (0.06km)
- Square (The), Modern Eclectic (0.09km)
- Park Brasserie, International (0.13km)
- Nicoles, Modern European (0.13km)
- Benares Restaurant & Bar, Indian (0.14km)
- Browns Restaurant & Bar (Mayfair), [Other/Unclassified] (0.16km)
- Artisan & Polo Bar at The Westbury, Modern European (0.18km)
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